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Mac, I knew you were probably messing around with him. You can’t ever be “just friends” with a guy. I didn’t need a stranger to tell me. You don’t tell me any of this shit. Maybe it’s because you don’t want to hurt me…but I doubt it. When have you ever taken my feelings into consideration? when have you ever really seemed to care about me? I’m just the girl who is always faithfully there when you need anything. or maybe it’s because you think I’m too “pure” to hear about you and these boys. I’m only so innocent because I have saved myself for you. God is going to be angry to hear this but if you were to ask me for sex, I would give you my virginity.
Why Mac? Really. I want to know. Why him, why now? I worry about you and all of the sexual partners you have had. I don’t want you to end up with an STD..or worse, AIDS. I don’t want you to die from disease, I want you to live a long, happy, healthy life.
It hurts how much I love you sometimes. I guess I’ll never be over you. Maybe I should accept it and hope for someone similar to you to come along. I can’t even think of being in a relationship with anyone but you.
Why did God make me fall so completely in love you? It has to be a part of his master plan somewhere, that leads me to something wonderful. Or maybe God made you for me, and me for you. Maybe because you left God and started messing yourself up freshmen year, you are no longer following his plan. So maybe I’m just lost on the path of our lives, looking for someone who not there….because that someone is you.
It just hurts. I wish I could tell you my real feelings. I wish I didn’t care about you so much. I wish I was a normal girl who could move on.
