Mac, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.  I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Please talk to me.

I can’t take this misery. I don’t know what to do. I feel sick. so so sick. I’ve never thought about suicide like this before. I never thought I’d be led to feel like this. I’ve never felt so alone.

all I did was care. all I did was want the best for you. all I did was love you. all I did was put you before myself.

I hope one day you are able to see all the things I did for you. your mom is right, I am your biggest fan. I always will be. I always help you. always. Maybe you’ll be married. Maybe you’ll have kids. Maybe you’ll be old and successful by the time you realize it.

I’ve loved you more than any one in this world, minus your own mother and this is how I am thanked? this is how I am regarded?

I want to be numb. I want to sleep. I want to die.

I can’t take this feeling.