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It’s been a stressful night…I more or less told Mac I was going to stop eating again.
I told him about my eating issue. and then he says“I know, I do the same except with scratching…I scratch my stomach till it bleeds or at least leaves a mark for me to see”
I cried instantly. There are nights where he hurts himself. I want to save him, I want to take this away from him. It’s sad that we bond over self harm. but now we have each other more than ever. what a bittersweet moment for us. I hate that he could hurt himself. I hate that he could harm the body I cherish.
I feel this connection with Mac. More so than ever. I feel the threads of our future twining themselves closer together.
we are meant to be together in this world, I feel it in my bones. I feel it when I talk to God. I feel like tonight was, sadly, a huge step for both of us.
