I’m really just an idiot.

I wish I could just die. I wish I could fall off of the planet or sink into the earth, never to emerge again. I’m in anguish, this just isn’t fair. 

can I go back and erase my feelings for Mac? can I pretend that the last 5 year were non-existent? I can’t stand hurting myself over and over again. I can’t get away, he has my heart, he has my soul. 

I think the only one who understands is Katie, but I don’t think even she knows the extent of love I feel.

I feel like dying. Put me out of this misery.