i just don’t know.

I don’t know anymore. I don’t have the answers. I don’t have things figured out.
I wish I did. I wish I wasn’t breaking. I wish everything were perfect.
if only I had flawless grades. If only I had a perfect body. If only I had you.

life might make more sense then.

I wish I wasn’t so wildly different from everyone.
I don’t wear the coolest colthes, I don’t wear make up and fix my hair, I don’t go to crazy parties, I don’t do drugs, I don’t cuss, I don’t have sex.

I like to be a good girl, I like innocence. and I like you. Please tell me someone like me is ment to be with someone like you. Please tell me it has crossed your mind, the possibility of you and me.

I wish I had you to hold me. kiss my lips gentley and caress my cheeks, and tell me that it’s okay to not know. Tell me I’m beautiful even though I’m not, tell me I’m perfect the way I am. I feel me slipping away again, into the darkness. 

Help keep me on the surface. I can’t tred this water for long. I’m becoming overwhelmed with the world, and I don’t think I can get through this alone.

Everything is changing. people are leaving here soon. The most important decisions of my life are right in front of me and I just want a hug. A really long all consuming hug. surround me in warmth because I’m becoming cold and scared.