Lonely.

It’s pathetic, but that’s what I am. People repeatedly tell me that I’m the lucky one, to have never had someone love me. Lucky? really? Do these people realize how painful this lonelyness is? How much I wish that for once someone would reach out to me? I want to know the feeling of being in a lover’s embrace, I want to know what it’s like to have sweet nothings and secrets whispered in my ears and I want to feel soft lips caress my own.

All I was asking for this year though? a prom date. that’s all. I wanted to get all dressed up and have my date match my dress. I wanted to get cheesy pictures and have someone to slow dance with me. I wanted to be like all the other girls with their crosages lying delicately on their wrists and getting all giddy about the boys they brought. But I won’t get that. I’ll never get that.

I hurt. I hurt really bad. What do I do wrong? What puts me at the bottom of everyone’s lists? Sure I have friends, wonderful friends infact, but never anyone to love me.

I’ll buy my prom ticket for one tomorrow. and I’ll watch everyone gather money from their dates and talk about color swatches.

I wish I wasn’t being denied this life expirence, I’ve never felt so depressed and unwanted.