It’s back.

That little voice in my head is back and in charge. Well, really, she never was gone. She was just laying low. She let me eat all I wanted on the cruise. She was upset with the weight I gained but let me keep going, Shoving my fat ugly face with fat and calories.

don’t worry, everything is fine now. She’s back and I feel safe and happy to hear her voice. I know she’s going to help me out now. She’s going to make me skinny. She’s going to make me perfect and I couldn’t be more excited.

When I become perfect he will love me. He will want to hold me in his safe arms and kiss me softly. I will be wanted and loved and safe and happy. I will be perfect for me, I will be perfect for him.

I need to purge my entire body. start from scratch and never loose control again. no more eating after school with friends. no more lunch. lite breakfasts for my metabolism and a lite dinner to kill the hunger pains. I’m ready for this. 

I’m on my way to collarbones, hipbones, ribs, and a space between my thighs. I’m on my way to him. I’m on my way to perfect.